Summary of Step 2: Facing Your Fears/Creating New Truths
· Facing your fears and creating new truths to replace them – “The sooner you deal with your fears, the more money you will be able to create.”
· Our culture allows talking about all topics, but not about money – “What prevents you from dealing with your money is not lack of time, but your fear of money.”
· Fears are the weeds in your financial garden – let weeds grow wild, unchecked, and they take over the garden, multiplying as they go while getting stronger – “The fear of not having enough to cover the bills this month…unchecked…it will become fear of not having enough in general…stretch that fear…the fear of having nothing, of somehow losing everything…one step further…the fear of being worthless, being nothing...long way from not quite being able to pay all the bills this one month,” and “The way to control the fear instead is to voice it.”
Facing the Fear Helps to “Connect-the-Dots” – Healing Brings Relief, Then Move on toward Financial Freedom:
1. Sheila broke her grandmother’s famous, favorite platter, and as an adult was afraid to break another platter and would refuse money; Suze told Sheila to buy the biggest platter she could find and use it; slogan - “I hold and benefit from everything that comes my way.”
2. Mark used to own multiple piggy banks full of money as a child, saving for a specific item and learned that his sister was stealing it, and as an adult was unable to have a joint account with his wife; Suze told Mark to write a letter to his sister saying that he forgave her; slogan – “I have the power to put my money in good hands and to trust the people who keep it safe.”
3. Liz tripped on a curb while collecting donation money in the dark, spilling the money down a street drain, and as an adult held back creating money in case the IRS would audit her for losing the earlier donated money; Suze told Liz to write a check to the charity who never saw the lost money; slogan – “I am not afraid.”
Exercise: Write down your fear(s), then compare it to your childhood memory about money and see the obvious connection. We have all heard over the years, “You’ll be a secretary like your mother,” “You’ll be a gambler like your father,” “You’ll never amount to much unless you do X, Y, or Z.” Here’s a list with examples of fears that Suze has heard from her clients over the years:
a. I’m afraid I’m going to be a bag lady
b. I’m afraid I can’t support my family
c. I’m afraid if I lose my job, what other job could I possibly find
d. I’m afraid my spouse will make more money than I will
e. I’m afraid I can’t keep up with…
f. I’m afraid my friends won’t like me if they find out how much money I make
g. I’m afraid with not knowing what questions to ask about money
h. I’m afraid my spouse will leave me and I won’t know how to survive
i. I’m afraid my spouse will die and there won’t be anybody to take care of me
j. I’m afraid my parents will have to go into a nursing home (and lose everything)
k. I’m afraid I have to use my credit cards just to cover my bills each month
l. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to pay for my children’s college expenses
m. I’m afraid I’ll have to support my ex-spouse if we break up
n. I’m afraid I’ll lose everything I have
New Truths – Retrain the brain to accept these truths>>
“You can control money, You do deserve money, You do have enough money coming in, You do have enough money now, You will have enough money tomorrow”
Suze Orman’s family motto that she grew up hearing >> “We don’t have any money, you’ll always have to do without, so you had better learn how.”
Later, as a commissioned salesperson for Merrill Lynch in the 1980’s, she never felt comfortable with the other stockbrokers at work—feeling sick to her stomach every morning, wearing less expensive clothes, eating at Taco Bell while the others drove to fancy restaurants to eat lunches, etc. She recognized this was the job that was helping her break away from everything, so she changed her perception and repeated her new truth, verbally (in the elevator) and in writing 25 times a day: “I am young, powerful, successful, and producing at least $10,000 a month.”
Our culture is one of slogans – Create a slogan for yourself – Retrain your brain to BELIEVE it! “Fears hate more than anything else to be defeated.”
· Make it short enough to remember and say (“I have more money than I will ever need.”)
· Put it in present tense, your future starts today (“I am in control of all my affairs.”)
· Make it an unlimited truth, to open the way to receive (“I am putting at least $200 a month into savings.”)
Your new truth is bigger than fears, debt, worries, all you meant to do but haven’t. Next step will be to use this new truth in your favor.
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